Monday, June 29, 2009

Soliciting Opinions

It was a long weekend, and not of the sort that involves a day off and a trip to the beach. Yesterday especially was a tough day at our house, because a certain impatient person peed on a stick before she should have. (Go figure.)

For the first time in our years of trying to conceive, I was absolutely certain that it would be positive. C was absolutely certain that it would be positive. And then it wasn't. We had a long discussion beforehand about how we shouldn't be testing until Wednesday, and agreed that a negative hpt wouldn't necessarily mean that we aren't pregnant. It might just mean that we tested too early (especially since we aren't 100% sure when I ovulated).

I understood that a negative was a real possibility and was convinced it wouldn't bother me...until only one line showed up on the test. Then I spiraled out of control like a kite in a windstorm. It was very, very bad.

So, for the sake of my sanity, I'm going to write out a timeline from around when I ovulated until now, and the changes C and I have both noticed. As embarrassing as it is, I'm going to list out every little thing (including things I normally wouldn't make mention of!). Please, be honest and tell me what you think. Have I become that frustrated IF-er who goes off the deep end and imagines that she's pregnant when she's not? Or did I really just test too early?

  • cd16-17: watery cm, became the best ewcm I've ever had

  • cd18-19: cramping (unfortunately I didn't keep the greatest track of when it stopped)

  • cd20: acupuncture

  • cd21-22: geographic tongue resurfaced (this usually happens after ovulation in my ovulatory cycles)

  • cd28: intermittent, unusual cramping (lower in my abdomen and centered); bouts of nausea that went away when I ate; sore/distended breasts (also noticed by C)

  • cd30: very tired; had a complete meltdown over dropping a piece of shell in the bowl while cracking eggs (this freaked C out a little; I was in tears over it); cramping only when pressure is applied to abdomen (i.e., dog in lap); overwhelmed by garlic smell in cupboard (but when I opened it later, I couldn't smell it at all); started having gas/burping (not normal for me!)
  • cd31: starting to get very congested; felt burning sensation in stomach throughout the day; constipated; veins are super-prominent all of a sudden (C noticed them too, especially on my abdomen and thighs); areolas don't look darker but the skin around them does

  • cd32: congested; very dizzy/lightheaded after eating (I didn't eat until I got to work); still have intermittent cramping; very tired

  • A lot of these things are continuous, so I just noted them on the first day I remember experiencing them. Also, I have woken up every day since cd28 at 5 or 6 AM to make a bathroom run. This is sooo unusual for me!

    So, what do you think? Did I test too early? Should I still be holding on to hope? Because, I have to tell you - I'm convinced that I'm pregnant. And if I'm not pregnant, then I think the only other option is that I'm insane.


    Kim H. said...

    Okay - so I am one of those crazy women... or at least I somehow in my mind can over-exaggerate every single thing happening in that period of time.

    I say that you're the best person to judge that - since everyone's body is different. I think the fact that your husband is noticing things being different... it may very well be that you ARE pregnant! WAHOO! Test again in a few more days... and even before you decide you're nuts - get it confirmed by a blood test. My mother never once tested positive on a HPT - so you never know.

    Mary said...

    Do you still have the test? With my youngest, thought I was pregnant, the test was negative. Several hours later still felt pregnant, so I dug it out of the garbage, thinking just seeing the negative would start AF, and there were now 2 lines. Of course by this time you can get a false positive. Went out for more tests, they all came up positive.
    Since it's still early I would try and hold out till Wednesday to retest.
    Good luck!!!

    finding_ac said...

    yeah i just went through that too...except i was crying over someone making a snoman on tv, and i got five positives and then i got another friggin chemical preg.

    i am glad im not the only one thinking i have all these

    good luck with your ordeal

    ♥ ac