Friday, June 26, 2009

Mirror, Mirror, on the Wall

Will you think it's strange if I tell you that last night, I spent a very long time staring at my breasts in the mirror? Come on now - be honest. It's a really odd thing to do, isn't it?

Yesterday I wrote that I just feel "different" - I wish I could find the right words to describe it. I can think of only two possibilities: either I am indeed pregnant (please! please! please!), or the acupuncture has caused some change in my cycle that I've never experienced before. (Normality, maybe?) Whatever the case, I've decided it's a good thing. One would definitely be preferable to the other, but both are good.

Returning to the mirror: one of the ways I feel "different" is that I'm not experiencing my usual don't-even-look-at-my-chest-it-hurts-so-bad variety of PMS breast tenderness. They're sore, but only when I move. Mostly, they just feel swollen and kind of heavy. (Rather strange for these less-than-A cups.)

Last night - during my marathon mirror session - I decided they look swollen too. I needed a second opinion, so I recruited C to the cause. (It was quite the sacrifice for him, as I'm sure you can imagine.) After much more examination than I think was really necessary, C declared that my breasts look bigger.

This is huge (please pardon the pun), because C's usual response to any question regarding physical change is, "I don't know. I can't tell a difference. I'm not good at this stuff. Hey, is SportsCenter on?" Seriously! Once I had a huge swollen gland; it felt like a large pebble was lodged in my neck. He felt around it for a few minutes and then declared that he couldn't tell anything was different. But last night, he said he was sure my chest looked bigger.

Combined with the strange bout of nausea yesterday morning, and the odd indigestion I had after breakfast today (I am not one to experience tummy troubles unless food poisoning or a Clomid migraine is involved), and the unusual not-quite-cramps cramps...yes, Fox Mulder, I WANT TO BELIEVE! (Ok, so I am a geeky sci-fi fan. No shocker there.)

The simplest, easiest course of action would be to POAS. But, I won't. Strike that...I can't. For the first time in my life, I have a good reason to take aim at that stick, and I am running at top speed in the other direction. If I am misreading all these things - if this is normal PMS and I've just never experienced it before - if this is the closest I am ever going to get to knowing the excitement of being pregnant - then I want to ride just a little bit longer.

11 comments:

just me, dawn said...

fingers crossed....hold out :)

Erin W. said...

Fingers crossed!! Hoping for the best. Good luck not POAS...Guys are so funny about stuff like that...I do think it is funny that he had his own "marathon session" coming to his conclusion that the girls are definitly bigger...lol
*iclw*

Serendipity said...

I totally get wanting to stay on that ride, keeping my figers crossed for you.

finding_ac said...

yah waiting is waaay better than seeing a negative this early...i have absoulutely no control over repedivly peeing on sticks though, do you believe me? lol

♥ ac

www.mytransfurryance.blogspot.com

Joy said...

Ooh, so when are you going to test?

katery said...

i hope you're right, good luck!
iclw

Lisa RM said...

Mmmm, David Duchuveny...

Hoping it's a good sign!

Beautiful Mess said...

Crossing fingers, legs, arms, toes and ANYTHING else that I can manage to cross for you!
*HUGS/ICLW*

A Mom in Jacksonville, FL said...

OOOOH! Hoping you and DH get a BFP! How wonderful for you! :)

*ICLW*

ryanandjoesmom said...

fingers are totally crossed and i completely understand about waiting to POAS.

ICLW

Kim H. said...

I totally get what you're saying - I'd want to ride that lovely ride as long as I could before bursting my bubble... but hang in there and test again!