Wednesday, June 11, 2008

To Share...or Not to Share?

I’ve been debating over how I want to use this blog. When lightning first struck me and I thought, “Hey! I should start a blog!” – my motives were primarily selfish. I was looking for an outlet, a way to express and sort through all my mixed-up emotions. But now I’m reconsidering – the vast majority of blogs that I read (especially infertility blogs) were created so the author could communicate various aspects of her journey to friends and family. These blogs serve a dual purpose in that they also educate others about what it means to experience infertility and (for lack of a better term) infertility etiquette.

So, the question is – to share or not to share? I’ve noticed lately that I am reluctant to discuss our situation, even with close friends and family. It could just be that as we face IVF, the reality of our circumstances overwhelms me and I need more time to process. It could also be a symptom of my hurt, anger and disappointment over the failure of every procedure that we’ve tried. In any case, it might be a relief to answer well-meant but awkward questions by directing the questioner to my blog. That way – no worries about breaking down in tears because the question came at a really difficult moment! (Now if the question is entirely rude and inappropriate…I still reserve the right throw an all-out tantrum.)

Of course, we have tried to be as private as possible with our situation, and sharing this blog with others moves it into public domain. I do recognize that our local rumor mill has been very active, and that more people know than we would prefer…so it may be a moot point after all. I guess we’ll see what C. weighs in with – because all of this affects him too! Until then, the jury is out.

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