Needles...UGH!

You would think that I'd be used to needles by now. Nope - I'm scared stiff!! I was supposed to go for some bloodwork after our IVF consult 3 weeks ago, and I've come up with every excuse in the book why I can't go "this week" (or next week, or the week after, apparently). I'm even really interested to see the results of this particular test (TSH - thyroid stimulating hormone), but I still can't seem to get myself over to LabCorp. I'm such a wuss. I much prefer the doctor's visits where they stick you on the spot. No anticipation, less fear. Of course, since it's so hard to get a vein on me - maybe it's better to go to a lab where they'll be sure to have those nice little butterfly needles.

Maybe that's also why I've been putting off calling the doctor with our "official" decision to do IVF. I scheduled our injectibles training class, but I chose a date as far out as possible (July 3). The thought of all those needles makes me dizzy. I think that I may be able to rally for the subcutaneous injections, if I focus really hard and repeat my mantra of "I really want a baby. I really want a baby." (At least, it works for me in the gym!) But the intramuscular shots - *shudder*.

I've never actually seen the needles used for the IM shots; I've carefully avoided them ever since our first trigger shot experience. I was under the deluded impression that the shot was given in the arm, but I caught on pretty quickly when the nurse told me to bend over. She gave me the first shot (which hurt!!), and while she prepared the second, I looked over at C for reassurance. With eyes as wide as dinner plates, he said, "I can't believe they can put a needle that long into your butt and have it bleed so little!" Umm, thanks. A lot. Maybe you could have waited until the second shot was over to make that observation?!

I'm also terrified of the egg retrieval procedure for IVF (another reason why I'm putting off that phone call). Usually the procedure is done under light anesthesia, but the doctor I go to performs the procedure with the patient awake. I've read that they use a foot-long needle attached to an ultrasound probe - and let's just say that they don't go in through the abdominal route. I've also read that depending on how many eggs they retrieve, the procedure can take a half-hour or longer. (I really hope that's one of those true-sounding things that you read on the internet, that turns out to be a big fat lie!)

I really want a baby. I really want a baby. I really want a baby...