Friday, March 20, 2009

About the Cow...

Change is good, so they say. I don't really know who "they" are, but I find that "they" are usually wrong. Change, to me, always means an end of something, and I mourn for what is lost more often than I celebrate what is gained. (Thank you, infertility. I wasn't always this pessimistic, I promise!)

But in this case, I've decided that "they" may be on the right track, and some change could possibly...maybe...slightly be good. I refer, of course, to my new blog layout - specifically, the picture of the cow on the beach. When I decided to personalize the layout a little more, I spent a long time searching for the perfect picture. I wanted something with depth and meaning - like the sun peeking through stormy clouds, depicting the re-emergence of hope after a time of darkness. Instead, I found the cow. On a beach.

My interest was piqued immediately. WHY is the cow on the beach? Does the cow not know that beaches usually have sand, rather than a plentiful supply of soft, yummy grass? WHAT is the COW doing on the BEACH?!

And then it struck me...I am the cow. In a world where herds are meant to meander through sprawling valleys of grass and greenery, I tread on empty, soulless sand - sand that is hard in some places, hurting my feet, and all too soft in others, giving me no solid place to stand. It's infertility, in a nutshell.

The other thing I notice when I look at this picture is that the cow is isolated from the rest of the herd. They are dimly visible through the mist, but barely. It reminds me that I am not the only cow on the beach. And on that note, I'm thankful for all the brave bloggers who have shared their infertility journeys with me and so many others. I may never meet them in real life (and more often than not, I may only lurk in blog-land), but they remain a steadfast source of comfort and hope. (Well, look at that! The imagery is hopeful, after all...)

P.S. I'm not finished tweaking the layout yet, so if you land here and see random bits of code everywhere, you'll know that change is only occasionally a good thing.

P.P.S. I want it noted that I made it through this entire post without resorting to punny cow jokes. I am udderly proud of myself...I could have milked it, but I didn't. I think it shows that I am moo-ving forward in the personal growth department.

Photo credit: "Misty Moo" photograph taken by Matthew Bowden and downloaded from stock.xchng.


Anonymous said...

I also have pcos its made me altogether more pessimistic than i was before

I totally feel like a cow on the beach..

hoping you find your green pasture one day Best of luck !!

MrsJoyner said...

I absolutely love your cow. My niece calls me Moo-Moo and that is her nickname as well, so I instantly blog-bonded w/you over that..And I love your sarcasm, esp. towards the hub whilst in the stirrups. Good luck to you and you have a new follower :)