Once again, when faced with stupid questions from well-meaning people (which doesn't change the fact that they are stupid questions), I have found myself stuttering out pithy platitudes in the name of social acceptability. It seems that the fifty-plus people who have recently rediscovered my existence through the wonder of Facebook all took the same social networking class (Conversation 101: How to Ask Rude and Offensive Questions). I have been bombarded with:
"Any kids yet?"
"Hey! You've been married twice as long as we have. We have two kids, how many do you have?"
"Why don't you have any pictures of your kids posted?"
and the list goes on...
I usually do my best just to survive these conversations, but from now on I'm going to start answering in a way that makes the asker really uncomfortable. Maybe then they'll think twice before saying stupid things in the first place. (And yes, I know the questions are meant in a kind way. But my hurting heart doesn't see too far past the words themselves!!)
Imaginary Conversation with Stupid Person on Facebook
Stupid Person: "Any kids yet?"
Me: "No, we're saving up to buy one though."
Stupid Person: "I totally understand - it's so expensive!!"
Me: "Tell me about it! So how did you finance your baby? Did you take out a loan to cover it?"
Stupid Person: "LOL. I wish I had."
Me: "Can you believe that some people actually go out and get pregnant, just like that? They have no clue what it's like for people like us. All the painful and humiliating procedures, the stress over money. And then the stupid and insensitive things they say...well, you know what I mean. So how many IUI's did you do before you got pregnant? Or did you do IVF?"
Stupid Person: "I'm confused. What's IUI? Is that like DUI? We did have a lot to drink that night, if you catch my drift!! I still can't believe our little "accident" is almost one. Did you see the pics I put up?"
Me: "Oh, I'm sorry. You said you understood how expensive it is to buy a baby, so I thought you meant it. We're saving up to pay for our next fertility treatment."
Stupid Person: "You know, if you're having trouble getting pregnant, you should just relax. I know this person who tried to have a baby for eight years, and then she went on a cruise, and came back pregnant."
Me: "Really? Do you think going on a cruise would make my ovaries work? Because my doctor says the only option we have left is IVF. Maybe she doesn't know about cruises!"
****long pause while Stupid Person removes me from her friend list****
3 hours ago