Monday, November 9, 2009

Verdict

*sneaks furtively over to table and steals laptop*

Hello blog-world!! I have been laying low lately (literally), due in part to a resurgence of OHSS symptoms as well as a plot on the part of my husband to keep me from obsessively checking with Dr. Google about every little possible pregnancy sign. I think the last straw for him was when I could see my stomach rippling in sync with my heartbeat and started googling that. (Little did he know how much I was using my phone on the sly to perfect my google-fu. Ha!)

I made it in to work for a little bit today, and it felt good to be up and around. Of course, the picture-perfect autumn day helped. "Unseasonably warm" has to be one of my favorite phrases! But the rest of the day will have to be enjoyed through the window, because I have retreated back to the couch. There is now a Jennifer-sized divet permanently etched into the cushions, I fear.

For such a beautiful day, it started off a little sketchy - I woke up around 3 AM with stabbing pains in my stomach and shortness of breath. And when I went in for my lab work (dehydrated due to the aforementioned stomach ickiness), it took two people to finally tap a vein. Those little buggers must know when the needles are coming for them, because they ALWAYS roll. Evasive manuevers, I guess.

I tried to have a "normal" day, and not to stare at the clock too much while waiting for my beta results. (Yeah, right...) I read, I cried, I prayed (who am I kidding, it was straight-out begging), and when the phone finally rang, I could barely answer it. The nurse on the other end (the one who hadn't been able to get the vein this morning) asked me how I was, in the sort of soft, sympathetic voice that you don't really want to hear. I told her that I was doing my best impression of a calm, non-neurotic person, but that I was failing miserably at it. She laughed and said that I had every reason to be excited if I wanted to, because my beta was 172!!!!!! So apparently, the OHSS symptoms that have returned with a vengeance are a good sign. My next beta is Wednesday morning, and if the number has increased appropriately, we will schedule our first ultra-sound for about two weeks out. (For those of you who know me in real life or on Facebook, we aren't telling a lot of people yet - at least until after the next beta, and maybe longer. I've learned from too many others that a nice beta number does not always equal a full-term pregnancy, and I don't want to learn the art of untelling.)

I am in shock. Part of me feels like this is a dream, and I'm going to wake up at any time and it will all be over. I realize as I type this that I had stopped believing that this day would come. Part of me is so, so blissfully happy - for C especially. He is excited beyond words. But another part of me feels so...unworthy. I have so many sweet, lovely friends who really deserve this, and who have been through so much heartache. It is so unfair.

Hannah prayed:
My heart rejoices in the LORD;
my horn is lifted up by the LORD.

~ I Samuel 2:1a

There is no one holy like the LORD.
There is no one besides You!
And there is no rock like our God.

~ I Samuel 2:2

He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the garbage pile.
He seats them with noblemen
and gives them a throne of honor.
For the foundations of the earth are the LORD's;
He has set the world on them.

~ I Samuel 2:8

12 comments:

Kate said...

That's a strong beta! Hope to see great things from the next one. Congrats!

Courtney said...

Congrats!!! I am so excited for you and your husband!!! I will be praying for great numbers on Wednesday.

P.S. Thanks so much for the sweet comments on my blog. We have our beta test next Monday so I just have to focus and make it through this week.

just me, dawn said...

awesome!! my OHSS emerged with a vengence and along with it came my first beta of 219.....can't wait to hear about your next beta ;)
congrats!!

embieadoptmom said...

Praise GOD for a great beta! YIPPEE! Congrats mama! It was very close to my first beta number at 196!! HUGS!

The Patterson's said...

Oh my gosh...this is SO exciting!!! What a great beta number!! Can't wait to hear your results on Wednesday....CONGRATS!!!

Serendipity said...

what a nice number, I really hope everything doubles as it should. I can't wait to hear the next number, sending loads of positive vibes!

twondra said...

AWESOME!!! I'm so happy for you!! Congrats!!

Hillary said...

EEK!! Praise God, this is so exciting! What a joyful miracle - many congrats!

makingmemom.blogspot.com

finding_ac said...

WOO HOO, WOOO HOOO, WOOOO HOOOO!!!!

yay! you were thinking of me?! i appreciate that..but geesh you must feel SO BLESSED right now!! i even love that you posted that verse from Samuel in the bible. That has been one of my books that i have been clinging to, to the point jay and i have decided to use it (well we are like 70% sure) as a middle name. For Hanna prayed to the Lord that if he opened her womb, she would dedicate her child to the Lord....and he opened her WOMB!!

that and jeremiah 29:11

"for i know the plans i have for you; declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

So many things in common, you and i have.

i am UBER excited to hear about your pregnancy/blessing! you DO DESERVE IT, you are not unworthy- remember it has taken alot for you to get to this point. It is very sweet to have concern for those who have not yet concieved, but that just shows your grace. You have been filled with grace on this issue, and i bet Jesus is very proud of you right now.

keep up the good work...cant wait to see that first ultrasound!

always in my prayers!

♥ ac

Mad Hatter said...

Oh YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY! I am soooooooooo happy for you, my dear friend! You both deserve this and enjoy every minute!!
Love,
Maddy

Kim H. said...

OH MY GOODNESS!! I am soooo happy for you! I have goosebumps, and a tear... congratulations...I'll be praying that the beta number sky-rockets! :-)

Peaches said...

Congratulations! I hope your post BETA #2 soon. I wishing you a H&H 9 months.