I think the crazy pregnancy-mimicking PMS symptoms are starting again. I'm prepared this time, so no BWE (blogging while emotional) - I promise! (Well, no more than usual...) My acupuncturist was really excited about everything that happened last month; she said that it shows my body is responding to the treatment. I haven't gotten my progesterone number back yet, but I am hoping that it supports her opinion.
I'm debating whether I should go to my infertility support group tomorrow night. I didn't go last month, and I don't know that I have the emotional energy to go this time around. It's the sort of meeting where you drag yourself in the door, and it's really painful while you're there, but it's also really good. The prayer time especially is incredible. Selfishly, there is part of me that doesn't want to grow too close to these ladies, because I don't want to be a permanent fixture in this group. I want to "graduate", as they put it. And now.
Maybe I will make it "a game-time decision", as C often says, and decide tomorrow on the fly. For now though...I am still at work and should probably not be blogging. My work day was supposed to end three hours ago! (It's just so nice and quiet here...)
20 hours ago
19 comments:
Think of yourself, sweetie. If you don't feel like going, don't. You need to do what's best for you. (((HUGS)))
Take care of yourself. I know it can be hard going some place when you don't feel like being on the emotional merry-go-round. I've never been to a local IF support group- I am not sure if I could handle it.
Stopping by for an ICLW visit...
No. 95: The Unfair Struggle (male-factor infertility, good friends, neighborhood rumblings)
I totally know what you mean - my mystery illness is driving me crazy - because it has pregnancy written all over it! UGH! Ok...deep breath. I hope that your tests do support that the treatments are helping - because every little bit helps when you're trying to reach this goal.
I am also very guilty of BWE- I think most of us are! I could totally relate to your "about me" section. I, too, am a terrible control freak and that's what makes IF even more horrible than it already is- having no control over your body! I never tried an IF support group, but I have an inkling that I'd have the same mixed feelings about it that you do.
Jennifer- Thanks so much for stopping by and for helping me get through this week! I think it's awesome that you have an infertility support group to go to - especially one that seems to have a Christian foundation! The blogosphere has pretty much turned into my support group. Love you guys!
Sending prayers your way. One song that has been a big source of comfort for me through all the waiting associated with IF is "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller - especially the part about waiting being "painful" and "not easy." Lyrics below:
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord
ICLW
Stopping by from your comment on my blog. I'm also hoping to go to Hilton Head in the first week of September. My parents just returned from there and can't stop bragging. It just sounds so relaxing.
Good luck in your journey!
I can understand why you wouldn't want to be a permanent part if an IF group. That's my worst fear. Don't go if you don't feel up to it. Good luck and happy ICLW
Glad to have found your blog and to hear your good experience with acupuncture. I've just started acupuncture myself and am hopeful.
I agree with the others, you need to take care of yourself - do what feels right.
Happy ICLW!
I hope that if you went, it was satisfying for you. And if you didn't, I hope you self medicated yourself with chocolate ;o)
Sending you lots of love and good juju for your upcoming cycle!
*HUGS*
Well, if going to the infertility support group appears to be a chore, don't do it....take care of yourself!
ICLW
Wow an infertility support group, i can imagine how that can be a great help but also sometimes depressing. Depressing if you become a permanent fixture, as you say. But I guess a lot of it depends on who is in the group!
The emotional roller coaster is so hard. Hang in there, and keep being good to yourself.
I've thought of finding an IF support group, but I'm scared about the emotion that will fall out of me while I'm there. Good luck with your journey!! I hope you graduate soon!
~ICLW~
I had the opposite reason for wanting not to get attached at my own IF support group -- feeling like all of them would graduate quickly and leave me behind.
In the end, almost everyone graduated within a few months of the group starting, including me, and the group disbanded.
ICLW
I hope if you went to the group that it gave you the support you need right now. If you didn't go, I hope you were able to stay home and take care of yourself (wine comes to mind). I'm one of the last people standing in several groups I am/was a part of so I understand your fears about that. I think we all fear that, but remember that there's always only one last one and it probably won't be us.
I think you should only go if that is what you want to do. I used to go but I stopped because it was so emotionally draining that I just could not do it any more. Botyom line as others have stated you have to do what is best for you!
I think it is a cruel joke of nature that PMS and pregnancy symptoms are so similar. Hang in there!
~ICLW
Hello!
ICLW #52
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