tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63453175590596860102024-03-18T21:06:46.773-07:00Hope EnduresA BLOG ABOUT SURVIVING INFERTILITY (AND OTHER STORMS OF LIFE) - <br>HOPEFULLY MY SENSE OF HUMOR WILL SURVIVE TOO.Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.comBlogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-16043776960246480032011-01-19T13:31:00.000-08:002011-01-19T13:40:12.821-08:00Moving!Hi everyone! I'm moving!! Please feel free to join me over at <a href="http://twinsideout.blogspot.com/">Twinside Out</a>. I'd love to see you there!Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-81492516488559826182010-07-12T09:58:00.000-07:002010-07-12T12:29:10.261-07:00Long Overdue Announcement(It's been so long since I posted, I'm not sure I remember how to do this anymore!!)<br /><br />After three months of bedrest, hospitalizations, awful medications, tears and prayers, we made it to 36 weeks exactly...and then the twins decided they were ready to take on the world. Joshua Caleb and Isabella Ruth were born on Father's Day, weighing in at 5 pounds each. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSwiYDlI0Uml7cEvyGMmP2zPiOJ2jjBw1tYuEgjIo2FboNZZhCn6zj4hsKkMUmSzC-3uKCLCZRtYOO5eHmBGKC6fORVIMCB3x2sD2XyOS2We8Ohf-xoloLT1dgpxIaJJVzq9xJBF3kwbh9/s1600/Cuddly.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 277px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSwiYDlI0Uml7cEvyGMmP2zPiOJ2jjBw1tYuEgjIo2FboNZZhCn6zj4hsKkMUmSzC-3uKCLCZRtYOO5eHmBGKC6fORVIMCB3x2sD2XyOS2We8Ohf-xoloLT1dgpxIaJJVzq9xJBF3kwbh9/s400/Cuddly.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5493067555577279522" /></a><br />I debated whether to publish their names - and I cheerfully reserve the right to edit this post in the future and remove them - but they have special meaning to us that I want to share. Since these little ones are a testimony of God's faithfulness to us (and are really a story of redemption in and of themselves), we wanted to give them names that reflected this heritage. <br /><br />We chose the name Joshua Caleb years ago; really, it's a name I adored before I ever even met C. The story of Joshua and Caleb in the Old Testament has always been a special inspiration for me. If you're not familiar with it, you can find it in Numbers 13 and 14. God told Moses to send men to check out the land of Canaan that He was giving to the Israelites. The scouts came back with glowing reports of the land itself - fertile ground, flowing with milk and honey - but also a warning about the land's inhabitants. All of the men who journeyed into Canaan claimed that the land was populated by people who would be formidable foes, and who were best left alone. All of the explorers, that is, but two: Joshua and Caleb. Even while the Israelites threatened to stone them, Joshua and Caleb proclaimed that surely the Lord would go with them into this land as He had promised. They trusted God even in the face of opposition and the threat of death, from their own people. Joshua means <em>"Jehovah is salvation"</em> and one of the meanings of Caleb is <em>"faithful; bold."</em><br /><br />We also wanted to choose a strong name for our daughter. Isabella means <em>"consecrated to (or set apart for) God"</em> and Ruth means <em>"friend"</em> and <em>"compassion."</em> The Old Testament story of Ruth is another of my favorites. After the death of her husband, Ruth gave up any hope she had of remarrying and having a secure future when she chose instead to stay with her mother-in-law Naomi, now also a widow. She left behind everything she had ever known to move to a strange land, out of loyalty to Naomi. She put her trust in the God of the Israelites even when the future was uncertain and bleak; Ruth was a woman of excellence in everything she did. In the end, God blessed her more than she could ever have imagined - including giving her a husband and a son (who eventually became David's grandfather).<br /><br />I'll post the birth story separately, since I'm sure that's not something everyone wants to read! :) I still can't believe that after everything we've been through - our little miracles are finally here and three weeks old already! (I also can't believe how much my muscles have atrophied during all that bedrest. Yikes - get out the Denise Austin DVD's!!) But ohhh...it's so good to surf the internet on a real computer again instead of my little phone!Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-33761529081603491442010-03-24T18:56:00.000-07:002010-03-24T19:57:50.438-07:00Ups, Downs & Kung-Fu Fighting<object width="340" height="285"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/jhUkGIsKvn0&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x402061&color2=0x9461ca&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/jhUkGIsKvn0&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x402061&color2=0x9461ca&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="340" height="285"></embed></object><br /><br />Today has been a bittersweet day. C left early this morning for North Carolina, where he is going to be in a wedding. On the beach. I was supposed to go along, but Dr. Jazz (our high-risk OB, who always has jazz music playing in his office) didn't feel comfortable clearing me to travel when we first asked him. This was before the pre-term labor incident, so we didn't bother to ask again. Truthfully, I don't think I could have handled such a long road trip anyway - even if there was a free stay in a gorgeous beach-front mansion awaiting me on the other end. So, as C drove off for a week of awesomeness with a carload of really fun people, I sat upstairs all alone, wallowing in self-pity.<br /><br />It's a tribute to the potency of pregnancy hormones that it hadn't even occurred to me that C was off to the <strong><em>beach</em></strong> - which just so happens to be my favorite place in all of creation - while I remained landlocked in the dreary Midwest. I didn't consider in the least that I should be envious of his ocean getaway. No, I was too fixated on C's absence to take note of these things. I had been dreading this moment since we decided I would stay at home, and I started crying the moment the door closed. Only later did I realize how out of character this is for me. I'm self-sufficient, task-oriented, and not overly emotional. Regular Jennifer would have found something to do right away - reading, working, scrapbooking. (Ok, maybe not the scrapbooking. But someday, I really will put all those wedding photos in a nice album. Really.) Pregnant Jennifer bawled for four hours, ate a pint of ice cream, and cried some more. <br /><br />Then I had a flash of brilliance. I put on the <a href="http://www.ihop.org/Publisher/Article.aspx?ID=1000058181">IHOP</a> prayer room's live stream and just let it play in the background for a while. (Did you think pancakes? You did, didn't you? Maybe it's the pregnancy - but even though I know it stands for International House of Prayer, I always think pancakes, too.) It never ceases to amaze me how music that worships and glorifies God can break me out of the most depressed and self-indulgent of moods. So, no more crying - for now, at least. I'm actually pretty joyful at the moment. When I stop to take note of those I care about, I see that God is doing wonderful things right now. My bloggy friend Kim of <em><a href="http://kbhawkins00.blogspot.com/">Thoughts by Kim</a></em> fame may be a mommy this time next month! On the heels of much heartbreak, she and her husband have been chosen by another birth mom. My sister Mary (<a href="http://www.3foldblessings.blogspot.com/"><em>Threefold Blessings</em></a>) and her family are expecting to receive their travel dates in a few days, to travel to the Ukraine to pick up my two new precious nieces and my new handsome nephew. Personally, I have a lot to be thankful for, too - and I can think of no better reason to be sitting in Ohio right now than the two ultimate cage fighters in my belly. <br /><br />We got to see them again yesterday, which always makes for a red-letter day. Dr. Jazz was pleased to note that no further cervical changes were observed. I was quite happy about that too; cervical length ultrasounds always leave me chanting, "No Whammy! No Whammy! No Whammy!", just like the old game show. He is quite sure that reducing my activity and stress levels has kept us out of the danger zone, and he encouraged me to continue to rest. It was good news all around: the babies are doing really well, too. Baby A (the boy) weighs 1 lb 4 oz, and Baby B (the girl) is close behind him at 1 lb 3 oz. Both landed smack dab in the middle of the growth chart - not too big, not too small. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdDkKm-KM6Vqwi-T2XKF_Pr_ayFidEz1loobIZcPIQxxAilGQCmX7LjbcP_R5wx5WaaMmI3M1yFkFhhHkoIDMDXndW5jUPP0F2qM-nLPk-HC4HESPO3QUxdlh40YDlSXkrmfy-LWdLWESB/s1600/A_Kicking_B.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 158px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdDkKm-KM6Vqwi-T2XKF_Pr_ayFidEz1loobIZcPIQxxAilGQCmX7LjbcP_R5wx5WaaMmI3M1yFkFhhHkoIDMDXndW5jUPP0F2qM-nLPk-HC4HESPO3QUxdlh40YDlSXkrmfy-LWdLWESB/s200/A_Kicking_B.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="A kicking B" /></a>The best part of the ultrasound was when the sonographer was doing Baby A's growth scan. The poor little guy was squished in the pike position, with his toes touching his face. We were looking at his little legs when Chris realized that Baby B's head was also in the shot. As we watched, A drew back his tiny foot, bent his knee, and then let 'er rip. The little rascal kicked his sister in the head. (My dad freaked out when I told him this - even though I explained that they are both in separate sacs, and B was not harmed in any way.) The moment of contact is above, for your viewing pleasure. <br /><br />One more thing I wanted to write about - and then I will close the longest post EVER - is what we've chosen for the babies' names. Joy (<a href="http://whendoesdaddycomehome2.blogspot.com/"><em>When Does Daddy Come Home</em></a>), who not only likes Red but enjoys Stargate too (how much cooler can anyone be?), asked about that; while I would love to share, C has asked that we keep them to ourselves until the babies arrive. It's the only thing he's felt strongly about during this pregnancy, and I am doing my best to honor that (it's <strong><em>so</em></strong> hard!). But I did want to say that I am very excited about what we've chosen. I wanted names that reflect how these babies are gifts from God, and that they are set apart for Him, and I'm really happy with what we've agreed on. And I can't wait until they are here, and I can tell!<br /><br />So I guess this is what happens when I don't blog for months on end - I write a giant missive worthy of Tolstoy. Hopefully it's not been as boring. It's getting late, so I'm off to bed, but I am looking forward to catching up on my blog reading (and commenting) over the next few days! Thanks everyone for all of your encouragement - I really appreciate you. :)Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-63361557981514474132010-03-18T06:34:00.000-07:002010-03-18T06:53:02.340-07:00Gender UpdateBaby A is a boy and Baby B is a girl! We found out about A first, since he's a wiggler and doesn't have any modesty issues. B, on the other hand, refused to uncross her legs for several weeks in a row. We actually found out her gender when we least expected - it was at a routine (non-ultrasound) appointment with the regular OB. They weren't sure if the doppler was picking up both babies' heartbeats, or if they were hearing an echo of the same baby's heart. (Their heart rates were exactly the same, for a while.) So the doctor did a quick ultrasound to verify visually what they were hearing - lo and behold, there was Baby B with her girl parts for all to see! I promptly told her that she could go back to crossing her legs for the next thirty years. :)<br /><br />We've gotten to see some amazing pictures of our babies recently. I have appointments with the high risk OB every two weeks (and lately, weekly, but more on that later), and those always include an ultrasound. We watched as A (who tends to lay horizontally toward the bottom of my uterus) reached out to hit his sister's bottom, in an effort to get her to give him more room. We've seen B wave her hands when the ultrasound probe was hovering near her face (she really doesn't like it). Last week, we saw A using my bladder as a chair - which, incidentally, explains <strong><em>a lot</em></strong>!<br /><br />We did have a bit of a scare last week, when my cervix began to shorten. The next evening, we ended up at the hospital with pre-term labor. The contractions were painless, more of a tingly sensation really, and so I didn't recognize them for what they were at first. When I finally thought to time them, they were between seven and nine minutes apart, for over an hour. Thankfully they began to ease on their own, and by the time the nurse got the monitor on me they had mostly stopped. I did learn, though, that the stabbing pain I usually associate with round ligament pain is actually a contraction. Boo. <br /><br />After a week of bedrest, my cervix seems to be holding and I am allowed to resume "normal" life - with some restrictions. I still need to take it easy, and get lots of rest. We are at 22 weeks, 4 days - so those babies still have a while to bake!Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-37573722859412870012010-02-04T07:10:00.000-08:002010-02-04T08:11:02.142-08:00StubbornMy mom tells a story about my toddler days: she had given me some Cheerios, and one of them wasn't perfectly round. Apparently I had a very serious problem with this, and threw a temper tantrum the likes of which no other child could ever replicate. This doesn't surprise me; I like things the way I like them. I tend to think I'm just <em>particular</em> - but truth be told, the word for it is <em><strong>stubborn</strong></em>. (Why, yes, I was that child who drove my mom to read "The Strong-Willed Child." Why do you ask?)<br /><br />C, on the other hand, is the kindest, gentlest person on the planet. He is a peacemaker at heart. But when he has his mind made up about something, he can be rather...stubborn about it. (Of course, while I still throw temper tantrums, C is much more polite and laid-back. He takes a matter-of-fact, you-can-believe-whatever-you-want-but-it-doesn't-change-my-mind approach.) So I don't know what we expected from our children, but it seems we may be in for a dose of our own medicine. <br /><br />At yesterday's appointment (which went incredibly well, by the way), the doctor spent a very long time trying to coax the babies into positions where we could see their little boy or girl parts. She used a multitude of ultrasound wands, came at them from different angles, everything she could think of. Finally, after spending an eternity trying to get a good look at Baby A, she moved on to Baby B. It was as if the little monkey knew what we were trying to do. As soon as B came into focus on the screen, the baby crossed his/her legs. Seriously. Even the doctor was laughing.<br /><br />So now we have to wait until our next appointment to try again; hopefully they will be more cooperative! My doctor sends all twin pregnancies to the high-risk OB for an in-depth, high-powered ultrasound to make sure everything looks ok, so that is next on the schedule for us. We don't know when the appointment will be just yet, but it should be in the next 3 weeks or so. <br /><br />In the meantime, it was really good to see "my" doctor. As much as I appreciated Dr. No-Bull, his focus was just to get us pregnant and through the first trimester. Dr. S, on the other hand, was with us through everything prior to our IVF cycle. She dried my tears and kept hope alive for me when I was ready to give up. And now, she is part of the group of doctors who will help me bring my babies into the world. Whereas I might have felt a little silly unburdening my anxieties on Dr. No-Bull (he wasn't exactly the comforting type), I had no problem yesterday pouring out all my fears to Dr. S. I felt really reassured after our conversation. <br /><br />The other great thing about our appointment yesterday: while we were waiting for the ultrasound room to open up, I told the nurse about all the scary stories I've heard recently. She got out the Doppler and let us listen to both babies' heartbeats, so I didn't have to wait any longer to know that they were still doing ok. <br /><br />Today I am riding the high that I get every time I see them. It becomes a little more real with each ultrasound!Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-60724194691969108232010-02-03T08:21:00.001-08:002010-02-03T08:44:18.709-08:00Kicking Gray to the CurbTime for a change, don't you think? <br /><br />It's winter, and while I'm sure the sun still exists somewhere, here in the Midwest everything is gray and dead-looking. Even the snow no longer looks white; it's dingy and black in places. For a long time that's how I felt: gray. Ugly. Empty. There are still days when I feel that way, because when you walk through a valley, it takes a while to step out of the shadow. But for today, as much as I love the cow picture, I can't take any more gray. (If you want to know why on earth I would love a picture of a cow on a beach, click <a href="http://hope-endures.blogspot.com/2009/03/about-cow.html">here</a>.) Ironically, as I look at my new blogskin, I just realized that I used the same color palette we've been thinking about for the nursery. Hmmm. Guess I like it! <br /><br />We have our very first ultrasound with the regular OB today. It's hard to believe that we have already passed the 16 week mark! Hopefully we will be able to find out the babies' genders today. If not, though, I will be thrilled just to see that they're doing ok. I've still been struggling with anxiety a lot. (Thanks to everyone who commented and emailed me about having the same experience!! I felt better to know that I'm not the only one who freaks out about these things.)<br /><br />In the humor department, I heard through the grapevine that my dad was telling everyone we're having two boys. I didn't pay too much attention until he left me a voicemail message about how excited he is that the babies are boys, and how he can't wait to have grandsons and do little-boy-things with them. Um...ok, Dad, do you know something I don't? Seriously!! I guess he told everyone on his side of the family...I will be cracking up if they both turn out to be girls.Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-44212465444196544442010-01-27T11:49:00.001-08:002010-01-27T12:39:32.240-08:00A Case of the Grump BugsI am not a morning person. If it is anytime before noon, I'm grumpy, and if you get too close to me, you'll find out why Oscar the Grouch is my favorite Sesame Street character. You'll also find out that I have a stunning right hook. <br /><br />My mother, on the other hand, has the dubious distinction of being one of "those" people. You've met the type - perpetually bubbly and happy. When you want to pull the covers back over your head, this is the person who stands by your bedside, cheering you on like the leader of the pep squad. Now that I'm older, I recognize this phenomenon as brain damage brought on by years of caffeine over-consumption. (I write this with all affection - my mother is truly an incredible woman, and I love her with all my heart. She's just overly cheerful sometimes, and I...am not.) <br /><br />When I was little, my mother's response to my cranky, anti-social behavior was to swat away all of the "grump bugs" that only she could see swarming in my air space. She would wander around, smacking her hands together as if she had caught a fly, and exclaim, "Got one! Oh - wait - got another one!" (In the interests of full disclosure, I must admit that I recently pulled this stunt on C. Suffice to say, it didn't go over well. But that didn't stop me from smacking the air with glee, killing off all the grump bugs...)<br /><br />I need someone to swat away my grump bugs today. It's 3:09 PM, well after noon, and I am in a bad mood. Maybe it's because I just had to explain to my boss that confidential pay rate information needs to be password-protected if it's stored in a place that others can access. (Um, hello? Did you really think that was ok?) <br /><br />Realistically, though - it probably has more to do with pregnancy hormones, and my frustration over having to wait another week until I get to see A and B again. I haven't seen them since last Monday, and I've fallen off the high of watching them move and knowing that they're okay into the deep abyss of fear and the land of what if. I just read about another blogger who lost one of her IVF twins recently. I don't have any words for that. It is my worst fear. <br /><br />So, now that I don't have any tears left to cry, I am reminding myself that my babies are in the Hands of the Most High God - and whatever happens, good or bad, He is in control. And between those reminders (and the occasional muttering about my boss), I'm swatting away the grump bugs with my own favorite remedy: pictures of A and B. (Check out the close-up of A's brain! Cool!)<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwQuXUHPdx_zs58nt4nkRkjI0l1wx4Hcp2iuy07pUExIkirsBoXWOGO-3oreUOCmCvr6IjnzjjCC18wtpRPRXX-Aza7jL0oApA_UOt41qQbiKpCecOW9nrdTnou9I6PlRlF5EjkaOjRoht/s1600-h/01182010+DAVIS_0009.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwQuXUHPdx_zs58nt4nkRkjI0l1wx4Hcp2iuy07pUExIkirsBoXWOGO-3oreUOCmCvr6IjnzjjCC18wtpRPRXX-Aza7jL0oApA_UOt41qQbiKpCecOW9nrdTnou9I6PlRlF5EjkaOjRoht/s200/01182010+DAVIS_0009.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5431521281129066226" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSSmVfDK_IYjoGMXfAwrH9ecdb9F0CxOFGlNMHUJrxRZiI-8uNHq6TwgJPRZf0G0CdRGArf0jBCDLUHiD6KK_VSGOZ6km-_Wvd9w5xIdaFN3n1VS-vtb6-0aPFnoRWN_9Kok_h3Ooj29oR/s1600-h/01182010+DAVIS_0007.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSSmVfDK_IYjoGMXfAwrH9ecdb9F0CxOFGlNMHUJrxRZiI-8uNHq6TwgJPRZf0G0CdRGArf0jBCDLUHiD6KK_VSGOZ6km-_Wvd9w5xIdaFN3n1VS-vtb6-0aPFnoRWN_9Kok_h3Ooj29oR/s200/01182010+DAVIS_0007.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5431521149049885778" /></a>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-70422241998554595192009-12-14T08:23:00.000-08:002009-12-14T08:54:05.770-08:00(Bad) Blogger of the Year AwardIt's about that time of year, when the cable channels are filled with programs counting down the Best Dressed Celebrities of 2009, the Worst Feuds, and the Top News Stories. In the same vein, I've decided to award myself the Bad Blogger of the Year Award. It has been almost a month since my last post...and the tragedy is, I don't even have a good excuse.<br /><br />I've been exhausted (combination of lingering OHSS and pregnancy symptoms), and with loads of psychotic drama at work, I've started working from home. So, between naps and bouts of nausea, I've been sitting on the couch hammering away on my laptop. Blogger is but a click away, yet I haven't clicked. I haven't typed. I haven't uploaded ultrasound pictures.<br /><br />It occurred to me today, that it's because I am afraid. I'm scared that if we make too big of a deal about this pregnancy, something bad will happen and it will all fade away. I guess you could say that God and I are dealing with lots of trust issues. Infertility is a painful road, and it has both shaken and strengthened my faith. But He is good, and He is reminding me of that daily. Here's His reminder for today: ultrasound pictures of our twins...twins who are growing right on schedule and whose hearts are beating strong!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMyqgLNG1kvm2XPYsOviS3lJp8OHVeS6sChyphenhyphenHslTmeZuNIUXGc70_V9qndAkiD0a-FSV1NBIDRdDAfxvkzhAGpoxw4bseMWr-r9C9r6B_rbXY2xWzSuPCbIe47JqLVomflpmXlg9gc-YQQ/s1600-h/DAVIS+12142009_0007.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMyqgLNG1kvm2XPYsOviS3lJp8OHVeS6sChyphenhyphenHslTmeZuNIUXGc70_V9qndAkiD0a-FSV1NBIDRdDAfxvkzhAGpoxw4bseMWr-r9C9r6B_rbXY2xWzSuPCbIe47JqLVomflpmXlg9gc-YQQ/s200/DAVIS+12142009_0007.JPG" border="0" alt="Baby A"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5415135643194156418" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggzFPwcXjYEi1OBTwkha3OtSsslUW9Ycv8e7ET6OyZpXpXHynef4EfpF-H8U-HYsdb8QJ46v3puEAkBJ4ULkElttiH_X_5knWcFBE095iM_QMuhzAfi2L5il83VX5su-08Ck3NCX2zYP-u/s1600-h/DAVIS+12142009_0005.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggzFPwcXjYEi1OBTwkha3OtSsslUW9Ycv8e7ET6OyZpXpXHynef4EfpF-H8U-HYsdb8QJ46v3puEAkBJ4ULkElttiH_X_5knWcFBE095iM_QMuhzAfi2L5il83VX5su-08Ck3NCX2zYP-u/s200/DAVIS+12142009_0005.JPG" border="0" alt="Baby B"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5415135558447765442" /></a>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-21870985250406231842009-11-18T11:59:00.000-08:002009-11-18T12:39:37.288-08:00Meet MaryI think I've mentioned before that I have a younger sister. (I can't really call her my "little" sister, because she has always been taller than I am.) Anyway, Mary is seriously the coolest person I know. She has the best sense of humor, and is my favorite person to just hang out with. Sadly, we've lived pretty far apart for the last few years, so I don't get to see her as often as I'd like.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhymYX2wkfd9KlsN7cq_kW3x4QXbQ8vX_2Rfg3N_bFOy8JYdUkgUZZUSP706e-w28eVofwVmjw-3tbSlt1GtSkEBiO-ExR9rcCtt8CXPjo38joLmYc34Bqt_Dv5jKZu0VXPEFQXYLg2Qwff/s1600/Pumpkin"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhymYX2wkfd9KlsN7cq_kW3x4QXbQ8vX_2Rfg3N_bFOy8JYdUkgUZZUSP706e-w28eVofwVmjw-3tbSlt1GtSkEBiO-ExR9rcCtt8CXPjo38joLmYc34Bqt_Dv5jKZu0VXPEFQXYLg2Qwff/s200/Pumpkin" border="0" alt="Pumpkin"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5405540548484735810" /></a>Mary has been so supportive of me throughout this infertility journey. When she found out she was pregnant, she sent me the sweetest email, so I wouldn't feel pressured to have to respond in the moment on a phone call. She made it clear that I could be as involved or uninvolved as I needed to be, which was amazing. She was able to be understanding of me, because she had walked a similar path herself. I don't know how much of her story she wants published on the blogosphere, so I will just say that I consider my niece to be a perfect little miracle. :)<br /><br />Soon, I will be getting two more nieces! Mary and her husband have known for some time that they want to adopt, and God recently laid it on their hearts to adopt two precious little girls with Down Syndrome. The girls live in Eastern Europe, and it will be a few months before they can come home. Mary started a blog called <a href="http://3foldblessings.blogspot.com/"><font color="99ccff">Threefold Blessings</a></font color> to chronicle their journey through the international adoption process. Since she's new to blogging, I thought I would ask all my bloggy friends to stop by and leave her a comment or two. ('Cause I'm an obnoxious big sister, and I do stuff like that.) Here are my beautiful new nieces:<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHYT3jtnzC9tOhU_fYOr6aZRkGaMaIzEpqlsgzJEWPzFvPixLqHIVixQtCxwDWluqiIWi7wzl6Velqb_ihleg74ibSpvyn0WVV4FvnqtmJKzwJvLnfX1fEpiZggdhpOiRkEAxdsLcuhb8v/s1600/Angel.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHYT3jtnzC9tOhU_fYOr6aZRkGaMaIzEpqlsgzJEWPzFvPixLqHIVixQtCxwDWluqiIWi7wzl6Velqb_ihleg74ibSpvyn0WVV4FvnqtmJKzwJvLnfX1fEpiZggdhpOiRkEAxdsLcuhb8v/s200/Angel.jpg" border="0" alt="Angel"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5405540893934928674" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZorSxdQDJVFamgWJeMCKpMG0FlyiXIGczB1HhPjtr0dd8znQyJBOOXNyYw2TWISeIOTYIEm3bYFKzgFSPlLX5aC2JZb8AAAT3dz1TDflz_VN4NdjjHr4p3CbN0fGqIXbU78K1yA26wckt/s1600/Sweetie.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 157px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZorSxdQDJVFamgWJeMCKpMG0FlyiXIGczB1HhPjtr0dd8znQyJBOOXNyYw2TWISeIOTYIEm3bYFKzgFSPlLX5aC2JZb8AAAT3dz1TDflz_VN4NdjjHr4p3CbN0fGqIXbU78K1yA26wckt/s200/Sweetie.jpg" border="0" alt="Sweetie"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5405541007702532770" /></a>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-83372382763398794722009-11-16T16:14:00.000-08:002009-11-16T16:52:28.469-08:00Silliness<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDta3W2iCD18wbUNdvhMr7Yn0CFzPios5mawxqAp19COB7MiNmF1X7wMiFY4U218Io5H0MBtxYiVgJKp0jlQ7xJMCQjZffhWzzhJSl3qPAeXfZKwSuwbOvY0E4jbujo1PUr8adm3qnYj3q/s1600/CIMG1109.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDta3W2iCD18wbUNdvhMr7Yn0CFzPios5mawxqAp19COB7MiNmF1X7wMiFY4U218Io5H0MBtxYiVgJKp0jlQ7xJMCQjZffhWzzhJSl3qPAeXfZKwSuwbOvY0E4jbujo1PUr8adm3qnYj3q/s200/CIMG1109.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404859730540983730" /></a>I just had a stern conversation with one of the cats. She's been running around all afternoon, refusing to settle down. Several times in a row - she waited until I was comfortable on the couch, and then she dashed across the table, knocking everything off it in the process. So I told her that she was being silly and needed to settle down. I don't know what should be more concerning - that I talk to my animals, or that I believe that for the most part they get the gist of what I'm saying. (Are those men in white coats at my door again?) Anyway, the whole incident made me wonder if God ever looks at me and thinks, "What a silly cat!" (Or, "girl" in my case.) I'm quite sure that He does, because I know my behavior and thoughts often border on the absurd.<br /><br />For instance, we got our second beta results back earlier in the week (384, praise the Lord!). Ever since the first beta came back, I have had this overwhelming urge to pee on a stick. I have wasted so much money on hpt's over the years that I didn't want to spend money on one more - especially since I already knew what the result would be. But, oh, I wanted to pee on a stick and get two lines for once!! So I was ecstatic when C asked if I would take one, just for kicks and giggles. Apparently great minds think alike!<br /><br />I could not wait to target that stick...until it came in the house. Then, I was struck with an overwhelming fear. What if it was negative? What if the lab made a mistake with our bloodwork? What if something was starting to go wrong? I almost couldn't do it...but I did, and of course, it was positive. Pure silliness. <br /><br />There is nothing I can do at this point to control the outcome of this pregnancy, other than to continue to follow directions, take my medications, and bare a cheek nightly for the oh-so-romantic PIO shots. And pray, pray, pray. Yet every little thing has me worrying - is something going wrong? Did I do something to hurt my little embie(s)? The truth is sobering - I have no control. But I act like I do, and that's pretty silly. <br /><br />It's interesting, too, how many of my perceptions of God fall into the realm of silliness. I wasn't going to post about this, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and in case you haven't figured this out yet - blogging is my way of avoiding a super huge therapy bill. The day we got our beta results back was difficult. I prayed and cried and begged God for a positive, all the while convinced in my heart that He would say no yet again. Finally - a short while before we got the results - I had one of those epiphany-type conversations with God. It was one of those moments where what you know to be true in your head finally bridges the gap to your heart, and you get a glimpse of God's face. <br /><br />I grew up in an emotionally (and sometimes physically) abusive situation. I was taught at an early age that good things (or sometimes just the absence of bad things) are born of good behavior, and I began to see the world as a giant merry-go-round of cause and effect. If you asked me, I could define grace and mercy, and list out well-rounded arguments for how salvation is a gift flowing from God's grace, and we can never do anything to earn it. But yet, I was startled to realize that I had put God into a one-size-fits-all, black-and-white, tiny box: somehow I thought I did not deserve a baby (because spiritually I'd become so disillusioned and distant from God), and therefore He would not allow me to get pregnant. <br /><br />It wasn't a conscious thought; it was a perfidious shadow underlying my thinking and slipping between my heart and God's. But once I saw it for what it was, I put it all out on the table and brought it into the light. I told God that sometimes it doesn't feel like He is good, and that sometimes I have trouble believing that He really does have a plan for me. I told Him that I knew I'd been disobedient and had run the other way when I'd needed Him most. And then I asked Him, in His mercy and love, to grant what I didn't deserve. <br /><br />And He did. I don't know why. But I am learning that He is good, even when His version of "good" doesn't line up with the vision I have. I am so very near-sighted, and all I can see is today. Truthfully I probably spend more time looking backward than forward, and that too is silliness. But I am so grateful that I serve a God who overlooks my silliness, and loves me despite it.Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-86125716068023591552009-11-16T15:12:00.001-08:002009-11-16T15:45:43.366-08:00Over the Top<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAC94EbJ-lNDba-KoXWKZT0IN_-uEee1UCv1YiwsYbE3nMMsUQtLM-n7ydGB2yZzikaudw4YCDgDBOpd33oX6lUCCGhAR41vV3hni0O5qulXAuVqsRZ6rpqoZCu_t4CkXy4tdyuqGU1Tx8/s1600/Over-the-top-award.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 156px; height: 149px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAC94EbJ-lNDba-KoXWKZT0IN_-uEee1UCv1YiwsYbE3nMMsUQtLM-n7ydGB2yZzikaudw4YCDgDBOpd33oX6lUCCGhAR41vV3hni0O5qulXAuVqsRZ6rpqoZCu_t4CkXy4tdyuqGU1Tx8/s200/Over-the-top-award.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404843517156351378" /></a>I've been tagged with the Over the Top Award!! Many thanks to Serendipity over at <a href="http://exploringchaos.com/"><font color="99ccff">Exploring Chaos</a></font> for thinking of me (along with a very sincere apology for not getting this posted sooner). <br /><br />Here are the rules: <br />USE ONLY ONE WORD! It’s not as easy as you might think. Copy and change the answers to suit yourself and pass it on. It’s really hard to use only one-word answers so try your best. <br /><br />Once you’re done tag 6 other bloggers and let them know that you think they are ‘Over the Top’!<br /><br /><strong>» Where is your cell phone?</strong> Table<br /><strong>» Your hair?</strong> Messy<br /><strong>» Your mother?</strong> Loving<br /><strong>» Your father?</strong> Insane<br /><strong>» Your favourite food?</strong> Chocolate<br /><strong>» Your dream last night?</strong> Vivid<br /><strong>» Your favourite drink?</strong> Kombucha<br /><strong>» Your dream/goal?</strong> Baby :) <br /><strong>» What room are you in?</strong> Dining <br /><strong>» Your hobby?</strong> Reading<br /><strong>» Your fear?</strong> Miscarriage <br /><strong>» Where do you want to be in 6 years? </strong>SAHM (does an acronym count as one word?) <br /><strong>» Where were you last night?</strong> Couch<br /><strong>» Something that you aren’t?</strong> Spontaneous<br /><strong>» Muffins?</strong> Blueberry <br /><strong>» Wish list item?</strong> House<br /><strong>» Where did you grow up?</strong> Globally<br /><strong>» Last thing you did?</strong> Eat<br /><strong>» What are you wearing?</strong> Sweats <br /><strong>» Your TV?</strong> Eyesore<br /><strong>» Your pets?</strong> Cuddly<br /><strong>» Friends?</strong> Amazing<br /><strong>» Your life?</strong> Good <br /><strong>» Your mood?</strong> Sleepy <br /><strong>» Missing someone?</strong> Yes <br /><strong>» Vehicle?</strong> Accord <br /><strong>» Something you’re not wearing?</strong> Bra :) <br /><strong>» Your favourite store?</strong> Bookstore <br /><strong>» Your favourite colour?</strong> Green<br /><strong>» When was the last time you laughed?</strong> Today <br /><strong>» Last time you cried?</strong> Yesterday <br /><strong>» Your best friend?</strong> C!!!<br /><strong>» One place that you go to over and over?</strong> Library<br /><strong>» One person who emails you regularly?</strong> Aunt <br /><strong>» Favourite place to eat?</strong> Kobe<br /><br />I tag:<br /><br />Mary at <a href="http://3foldblessings.blogspot.com/"><font color="99ccff">Threefold Blessings</a></font color><br />Amber at <a href="http://japatterson.blogspot.com/"><font color="99ccff">The Pattersons</a></font color><br />Tammy at <a href="http://twondra.blogspot.com/"><font color="99ccff">Tammy's Journey</a></font color><br />Hillary at <a href="http://makingmemom.blogspot.com/"><font color="99ccff">Making Me Mom</a></font color><br />Peaches at <a href="http://storkstalker.blogspot.com/"><font color="99ccff">Diary of a Stork Stalker</a></font color><br />Kim at <a href="http://kbhawkins00.blogspot.com/"><font color="99ccff">Thoughts by Kim</a></font color>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-40528470063846201432009-11-09T12:24:00.000-08:002009-11-09T13:18:49.470-08:00Verdict<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR5flpP5LC5pOuQ1yzn6LuD8F-dnMkU7mE66nrtlPEyE390Ma4zVyL5rlZ6xfCnxyyJ7uTzmIhAlzy0BRkzBtLQBLBYBBx1MEdZcm9Fy9m2ol66ErVeFGAcqiWFWi9T09YhMAvs3572fy3/s1600-h/Question.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgR5flpP5LC5pOuQ1yzn6LuD8F-dnMkU7mE66nrtlPEyE390Ma4zVyL5rlZ6xfCnxyyJ7uTzmIhAlzy0BRkzBtLQBLBYBBx1MEdZcm9Fy9m2ol66ErVeFGAcqiWFWi9T09YhMAvs3572fy3/s200/Question.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5402215357540962738" /></a>*sneaks furtively over to table and steals laptop*<br /><br />Hello blog-world!! I have been laying low lately (literally), due in part to a resurgence of OHSS symptoms as well as a plot on the part of my husband to keep me from obsessively checking with Dr. Google about every little possible pregnancy sign. I think the last straw for him was when I could see my stomach rippling in sync with my heartbeat and started googling that. (Little did he know how much I was using my phone on the sly to perfect my google-fu. Ha!) <br /><br />I made it in to work for a little bit today, and it felt good to be up and around. Of course, the picture-perfect autumn day helped. "Unseasonably warm" has to be one of my favorite phrases! But the rest of the day will have to be enjoyed through the window, because I have retreated back to the couch. There is now a Jennifer-sized divet permanently etched into the cushions, I fear. <br /><br />For such a beautiful day, it started off a little sketchy - I woke up around 3 AM with stabbing pains in my stomach and shortness of breath. And when I went in for my lab work (dehydrated due to the aforementioned stomach ickiness), it took two people to finally tap a vein. Those little buggers must know when the needles are coming for them, because they ALWAYS roll. Evasive manuevers, I guess.<br /><br />I tried to have a "normal" day, and not to stare at the clock too much while waiting for my beta results. (Yeah, right...) I read, I cried, I prayed (who am I kidding, it was straight-out begging), and when the phone finally rang, I could barely answer it. The nurse on the other end (the one who hadn't been able to get the vein this morning) asked me how I was, in the sort of soft, sympathetic voice that you don't really want to hear. I told her that I was doing my best impression of a calm, non-neurotic person, but that I was failing miserably at it. She laughed and said that I had every reason to be excited if I wanted to, because my beta was <font color="FFFFFF"><strong>172</strong></font color>!!!!!! So apparently, the OHSS symptoms that have returned with a vengeance are a <strong>good</strong> sign. My next beta is Wednesday morning, and if the number has increased appropriately, we will schedule our first ultra-sound for about two weeks out. <font color="FFFFFF"><em>(For those of you who know me in real life or on Facebook, we aren't telling a lot of people yet - at least until after the next beta, and maybe longer. I've learned from too many others that a nice beta number does not always equal a full-term pregnancy, and I don't want to learn the art of untelling.)</em></font color><br /><br />I am in shock. Part of me feels like this is a dream, and I'm going to wake up at any time and it will all be over. I realize as I type this that I had stopped believing that this day would come. Part of me is so, so blissfully happy - for C especially. He is excited beyond words. But another part of me feels so...<em>unworthy</em>. I have so many sweet, lovely friends who really deserve this, and who have been through so much heartache. It is so unfair.<br /><br /><em>Hannah prayed: <br />My heart rejoices in the LORD; <br />my horn is lifted up by the LORD. <br /><br />~ I Samuel 2:1a<br /><br />There is no one holy like the LORD. <br />There is no one besides You! <br />And there is no rock like our God. <br /><br />~ I Samuel 2:2<br /><br />He raises the poor from the dust <br />and lifts the needy from the garbage pile. <br />He seats them with noblemen <br />and gives them a throne of honor. <br />For the foundations of the earth are the LORD's; <br />He has set the world on them.<br /><br />~ I Samuel 2:8 </em>Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-51911127010158811792009-11-01T14:03:00.000-08:002009-11-01T14:42:03.225-08:00Transfer Update & Vindication<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRQIDllxKEMX9I7QwnyUoIUwZyyFUdr_CRnpWJo2EN3KoG05TqtKRCLnVxMwn5-zDrUmWSpOMYDnhEQ1BkGe2WbErvzBQ72ZNTJtoju7XQ7xRXcNbM8BEFdt8UoOh8AcGUzSvsi09c9Mt1/s1600-h/RGI+embryos+009.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 133px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRQIDllxKEMX9I7QwnyUoIUwZyyFUdr_CRnpWJo2EN3KoG05TqtKRCLnVxMwn5-zDrUmWSpOMYDnhEQ1BkGe2WbErvzBQ72ZNTJtoju7XQ7xRXcNbM8BEFdt8UoOh8AcGUzSvsi09c9Mt1/s200/RGI+embryos+009.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5399261233543129682" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNCADGsdEe0XbWoV-m_m-5qi-zEwyzyWXGE2D343OJAz3EMRpeP9E5vjfXdZSkqJKGDz9hm6E8MS984jhI9Cn73MngtxIa89a4xvIwQjDkgXB-oCAnNprl1waoLOOg-W-qp83FTzqYw6BK/s1600-h/RGI+embryos+004.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 133px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNCADGsdEe0XbWoV-m_m-5qi-zEwyzyWXGE2D343OJAz3EMRpeP9E5vjfXdZSkqJKGDz9hm6E8MS984jhI9Cn73MngtxIa89a4xvIwQjDkgXB-oCAnNprl1waoLOOg-W-qp83FTzqYw6BK/s200/RGI+embryos+004.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5399261100256924722" /></a>Here they are!! My precious little miracles. The transfer yesterday went amazingly well!! Dr. No-Bull was out of town, so the doctor on call did our procedure. Seriously, this guy had the gentlest, most compassionate bedside manner of any doctor I've ever met. I barely felt anything (with my ovaries still being larger than grapefruits, I figure he gets a gold star for that). The two-hour car ride up and back was another matter - turns out that part of our problem with the PIO shots is that the nurse only drew one circle, which was too small and too low. So instead of giving the shots in my hip, we've been giving them directly in my butt muscles. No wonder I haven't been able to move much! The IVF coordinator drew new circles (one for each side this time), and last night's shot went so much better. I've also been icing prior to the shot, and having C massage it afterward, which helps. (Of course, using a base that I'm not allergic to also has a nice effect!)<br /><br />In addition to the two hatching blasts we transferred yesterday, we had five more blasts to freeze. All in all we only lost three. The embryologist seemed really excited about our embryo quality; I can't remember the chances for twins but we have a 50% chance for a singleton pregnancy. <br /><br />I had this vision in my head of what my bed rest would be: me and my mom hanging out on the couch, snacking and watching funny videos. It has not been like that at all. (**Warning: TMI ahead.**) On Friday, I told the IVF coordinator that I had started having to strain to go to the bathroom. She told me to take Peri-Colace, which I did. It didn't do anything, so I took more on Saturday (transfer day). Last night, I had the worst intestinal cramping; it was horrible. Then, on top of everything else, my stomach started feeling hard and I was having trouble breathing deeply. This has been happening a lot in the evening. Suffice to say it was a looooong night. I was convinced that I had hurt my precious little embryos, until C finally called the IVF coordinator this afternoon. She said it was good that everything happened the way it did: the embryos haven't started to implant yet, so I didn't hurt them, and it's better that I was able to clear my bowels than having to strain during implantation.<br /><br />She also said something that made me feel a lot better, in an emotional sense: she said that they have been very surprised that I have done as well as I have, and that they were expecting my OHSS to be more severe. She also explained that I will feel worse in the evening, which is when the nausea and breathing issues have been most difficult. So, in a sick and backwards way, I feel vindicated. I've been trying not to whine, but I really do not feel well at all, and it's kind of nice to know that I'm not just being a baby.<br /><br />BUT SPEAKING OF BABIES!! There are two precious little embryos inside me RIGHT NOW! And I am amazed. Please, Father, protect them and keep them safe and growing and allow them to burrow in deep!!Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-20653336050842407282009-10-30T03:46:00.000-07:002009-10-30T04:32:45.279-07:00ItchyI cannot thank you enough for your support and encouragement!! Your comments really lifted my spirits yesterday. I obsessed over the arnica issue until I was convinced I had done something to hurt our embies' chances, and that I would be an unfit mother. Got to love those hormones...I am not thinking clearly these days. Extra special thanks to <a href="http://lateforaveryimportantpregnancy.blogspot.com/"><font color="99ccff">the Mad Hatter</a></font color> for the great arnica link!! I felt much better after I read it. <br /><br />The verdict on the arnica gel is that it probably didn't hurt anything, but I was told not to use it again. I am relieved, yet also disappointed, because that was the first time I've been able to straighten up and walk without pain all week. On the bright side, my mom started using it on her neck and has had amazing results. So at least it isn't going to waste! (Did I mention that my mom is here? I'm so glad, because she has been helping me make sure I stay hydrated and get enough protein. I'm certain that I would have had severe OHSS if she hadn't been here.)<br /><br />We've also discovered that the extreme cramping and soreness in my rear are likely caused by an allergy to the sesame oil base in the PIO shot. I've broken out in hives several times now, each outbreak worse than the last. Last night even the injection site itself turned into a gigantic hive. We are switching to progesterone in an ethyl oleate base, which (hopefully) will arrive today. In the meantime, I am supposed to be taking Benadryl to keep from clawing my skin off. Add in the pain meds, and I am more than a little loopy this morning! <br /><br />The clinic should be calling sometime this morning with our transfer time. Tomorrow is the day! I am so excited, nervous and scared, all at the same time. Please stick, little embies...Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-6458980144332339442009-10-30T03:00:00.000-07:002009-10-30T03:44:46.665-07:00Midnight Snack<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHP69MtEYrkb2ZA9tW6vfvj56aAjETuUZRNFVTqCEWBwKaKqTw0uWlhqYj3ZhCtEiTxpivOP-PVM4XgDw46bBlb_tITQwr-BHURfqWh9LiOdAnY76pkbN-sMa0hjVgJnrueTzJmau2cPUx/s1600-h/Celerity_Elf.bmp"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 97px; height: 130px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHP69MtEYrkb2ZA9tW6vfvj56aAjETuUZRNFVTqCEWBwKaKqTw0uWlhqYj3ZhCtEiTxpivOP-PVM4XgDw46bBlb_tITQwr-BHURfqWh9LiOdAnY76pkbN-sMa0hjVgJnrueTzJmau2cPUx/s200/Celerity_Elf.bmp" border="0" alt="Celerity"id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5398339893332685314" /></a><em>Disclaimer: The author of this blog has just taken Vicodin and Benadryl, after a long sleepless night interrupted by the shenanigans of a very angry cat. The opinions contained within (along with grammar and typos) may be completely nonsensical. (Although - I guess that's not much different from normal, is it??)</em><br /><br />Seriously, I just tried to log in to Facebook with the username google. And I couldn't figure out why it wouldn't let me in. *sigh* Anyway, I should have known better about the cat. I have two Sphynxes (furless cats); they are very sweet-tempered and social animals, nothing like the Sphynx Rachel bought on that one episode of Friends. Mine have both stayed close to my side this week, especially since I've been sleeping on "their" couch. <br /><br />Serenity, the mother of my other cat, has truly lived up to her name. She seems to sense when I am in pain, and she gently nudges me or licks my face like she's trying to comfort me. Celerity (pictured above), even though she is Serenity's offspring, has a completely different disposition. She is a firecracker! C has affectionately named her "Bad A$$ Kitty," a moniker which fits her well. Despite her antics, though, she brings much joy to our lives. <br /><br />Food is Celerity's favorite obsession. She once stalked and stole a whole spear of asparagus off my dinner plate, but that's another story. (She's also incredibly fond of steak. It's very odd.) Celerity has feline asthma and is on a small steroid dosage; this only adds to her food fetish. If she can see the bottom of her food bowl (even if it's only because she's pushed all the food aside), she freaks out. <br /><br />So, all night long, Celerity "attacked" the furniture in the living room: she scratched at the couch; she pounced on the table and pushed things off it. Then she ran around my head for a few minutes before starting the cycle again. The problem? She got up for a midnight snack and decided her food bowl was low. We're not talking empty, or even close to empty - just low. I didn't realize her problem until nearly 6 AM. Having lived with her for the past nine years, I should have understood immediately - but I didn't.<br /><br />I just filled her bowl to the brim and she's curled up in a ball, purring contentedly. So, now I am not only overly emotional, in the throes of an enormous allergic reaction (more on that later), and in pain, but sleep-deprived as well. If this IVF cycle is a success, I guess I will be well prepared for those long sleepless nights ahead!Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-73202807843971160232009-10-29T02:52:00.000-07:002009-10-29T03:16:46.272-07:00Amazed (and Scared)We were tentatively scheduled for transfer yesterday, but the embryologist called us in the morning and said that he wants to do a blastocyst transfer on Saturday instead. ALL 10 EMBRYOS ARE STILL GROWING!! He likes seven of them really, really, really well, and the other three he likes too, but slightly less well. He thinks that we will have some good blasts to choose from on Saturday. <br /><br />Part of me is impatient and wants to get this show on the road. On the other hand - I am slightly relieved, because honestly I feel like crap, and I'd like a few days to get myself together before it's <em>time</em>. I have worked so hard to avoid gluten and sugar for so long, and in the interests of staving off OHSS have been drinking Gatorade by the gallon this week. I've been forcing down some protein, too, but the nausea has been clamoring for some foods that are normally off-limits (french fries, cup o'noodles - yummy!!). So combined with the PIO shot side effects, let's just say I'm not on my normal "schedule" (if you catch my drift). I'd like to fix that before we throw the embies in the mix. Oh, and I'd like to be able to walk from one room to another without bending over from the agony. I look like Quasimodo these days. (Thankfully, though, the Gatorade is doing the trick - only mild OHSS symptoms and no daily weight gain. Praise the Lord for that!!)<br /><br />I have really been having a difficult time with the PIO shots, hence the Quasimodo-ness. Not the injections themselves so much as the aftermath - I have started sleeping on the couch because it hurts too bad to get out of bed in the middle of the night to make my fifteen trips to the bathroom. My abdomen is still really sore, and my rear is so cramped and stiff that there is just no way to move without crying out and waking C (who really needs to get some sleep). <br /><br />So - in an extremely exhausted and hormonally-driven emotional breakdown yesterday - I did something really stupid. I had seen Arnica Gel recommended on several message boards for PIO shot side effects, and I guess I thought it was something like aloe. I didn't really think of it as something that is absorbed into the skin and potentially could enter my system. I asked C to pick some up at our health food store and I rubbed it in liberally to the affected areas (which would be my entire rear-end). Immediate relief, it was so wonderful. Kind of a warm tingly sensation, followed by the realization that I had just put something on my skin that I know very little about, and that could potentially have any number of harmful effects on this process. I can't believe I did that, and I am just sick about it. I did scrub it off about ten minutes after I applied it, but I think it had already been absorbed. So, I am anxiously waiting for the IVF coordinator to return my phone call and tell me what an idiot I am. Hopefully I have not done anything too damaging...this is just proof that these hormones are really affecting me, I guess. (Does anyone know anything about Arnica Gel? Did I do a really bad thing??)<br /><br />In the good news department, C bought a new laptop to replace the computer that died yet again. We decided this time not to resurrect, but to replace. It is *so* much nicer to blog from a real keyboard again, instead of my phone!!Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-23144440472913408932009-10-26T09:24:00.000-07:002009-10-26T09:29:35.814-07:00Fertilization ReportI am in shock. This finally feels real.<br /><br />Twenty-one eggs fertilized!!! Eleven were frozen and ten were left out to develop. We are tentatively scheduled for transfer Wednesday afternoon. However, if the enough of the embryos are doing well Wednesday morning, we will wait until Friday or Saturday and transfer one or two blastocysts.<br /><br />I am amazed.Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-33642121245434943852009-10-26T00:51:00.000-07:002009-10-26T01:04:40.273-07:00SickI threw up through my nose tonight. Extremely disgusting. When I promised the IVF coordinator that I would drink so much fluid that OHSS wouldn't be possible, she said she was worried that I would have problems with nausea and would dehydrate that way. This is the third night in a row that I've felt horribly sick to my stomach between 7 and 9 PM. It's like clockwork - does anyone know what could be causing this? Tonight's the first night I've actually thrown up, but I'm not convinced that it's related to the ER.<br /><br />Even with the maximum dose of pain meds on board, I am not feeling so great. And I am not a fan of this side of 4 AM. But I really can't complain - I have a friend who has done ER twice without anesthesia. I think she's the strongest person I know.<br /><br />So, I didn't think they had really given me my PIO shot today, but I'm feeling it now. If anyone has any advice for those suckers, I'm all ears!!!Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-69065229068397757572009-10-25T14:45:00.000-07:002009-10-25T14:59:25.246-07:00Retrieved and Relieved!I'm a little loopy thanks to the pain meds, but I wanted to post a quick update. The retrieval went really well!! We had a grand total of 30 eggs. A few of them were immature, but at least 20 of them looked good. We're on OHSS watch, and I'm forcing fluids to the point that I could float away. But overall I'm feeling ok tonight. We're tentatively planning transfer for Wednesday. <br /><br />I have to say, I've really been struck by God's faithfulness today. I could feel His presence today, in a way that I haven't for a while. <br /><br />So, next step...waiting for the fertilization results. We should hear around noon tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm bugging C about getting the computer fixed. I want to curl up with a cup of tea and get caught up on my reading. Commenting is a challenge using the phone!Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-4431385107555526692009-10-23T17:27:00.000-07:002009-10-23T17:59:28.810-07:00Retrieval on SundayHave you ever felt like your life was so ridiculous, that you could have a prime-time sitcom based solely on your misadventures? I have, especially lately. My life has turned into a comedy of errors. I'd love to tell you about them, but my hard drive fried. Yes, again. So I am blogging from my phone, which was very cool for the first few words. Now I am missing my "real" keyboard...so please forgive any typos.<br /><br />I was really overwhelmed by all your comments and support. "Thank you" seems too shallow a phrase to convey how grateful I am to all of you. I can't imagine walking this road by myself. I hope you will forgive my slowness in getting over to all of your blogs. I have not been feeling great and I am still learning how to use this phone. But hopefully I can get caught up on my reading soon...I am very anxious to see what everyone has been up to!<br /><br />As far as our IVF cycle goes, C will be giving me my hcg shot at 12:30 tonight. I am more nervous than he is, I think. We are scheduled for retrieval on Sunday morning. I have 23 follies, and at least 20 of them are over 18mm (most are over 20mm). So we've gone from planning transfer on Wednesday (assuming we have something to transfer) to a play-it-by-ear approach. Apparently my estrogen level is pretty high and I look like a prime candidate for OHSS. Yay. <br /><br />Well, that is way more than I thought I could hammer out on this little keyboard tonight. I'm off to read some blogs, and then I have an appointment with THE needle. *shudder*Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-29667590264799813132009-10-15T06:38:00.001-07:002009-10-15T07:23:05.419-07:00Back in the Saddle<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisGPguzc8_KQIofgH5ZTeixf0N2dxjvSgmx7o0zSmTZzLLqidaklsOkARmnIaUdclkkvlpMytWsLUMGBM0etHNJbd4fvDmYgQ5H7QBtYLly0micjPVqFuivhu5FW5vj9Ghi4iX4T1beaRB/s1600-h/9-8-09+141.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisGPguzc8_KQIofgH5ZTeixf0N2dxjvSgmx7o0zSmTZzLLqidaklsOkARmnIaUdclkkvlpMytWsLUMGBM0etHNJbd4fvDmYgQ5H7QBtYLly0micjPVqFuivhu5FW5vj9Ghi4iX4T1beaRB/s200/9-8-09+141.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5392832078470619442" /></a>It's been a long, long time since I've posted anything. I don't really have a good excuse; sometimes blogging is a way for me to sort through my feelings, and much has been going on lately that I haven't wanted to deal with or even think about. So, I'm chalking my absence up to avoidance, pure and simple.<br /><br />Here's a brief run-down of everything that's happened since I've updated last: we had a marvelous time in Hilton Head, work has been rather busy and overly stressful, and C bought me an iPhone for my birthday. My sister and her husband have decided to start the process of adopting a baby with special needs, and two people at work have had "surprise" baby news. (This has been especially hard, since neither of them are really pleased about it.) Oh, and we started IVF. <br /><br />It's seemed almost anti-climactic. After all, it's been almost a year and a half since we had our initial IVF consultation. I am amazed at how, after all that time, the pieces fell into place so quickly. As far as the mechanics of the process go - we did a long Lupron protocol, and received the go-ahead to begin stimming Tuesday night. We got off to a rough start with the shots, but lately C has been wonderful in administering them. We've learned that I have an irrational fear of needles, and knowing that I don't have to give them to myself has helped reduce my anxiety. I did give myself a few of the first Lupron shots; C had to go out of town for a wiffleball tournament and wanted to make sure I could handle it by myself. I got through it, but I am thankful there are no more sports tournaments any time soon!!<br /><br />My next monitoring appointment is Monday morning. The earliest we can expect retrieval is a week from Saturday. We will have to travel about two hours to have the retrieval and transfer done, since our clinic's local lab won't be up and running for a few months. To avoid any timing issues, they are booking a hotel room for us, for the night before the retrieval. It's nice that they are making all the arrangements for us, and picking up the tab, too! This clinic has far exceeded my expectations; they are so wonderful! The IVF coordinator even gave us her cell phone number, in case we ran into any problems outside of business hours. (We've only needed to bother her once, when we opened up our second package of syringes to find that they were the wrong gradation.)<br /><br />If anyone is still popping over this way, I really, really covet your prayers. Before beginning this cycle, I was struggling with a lot of anger issues. I was afraid that if I turned to God and poured my heart out to Him, that He would turn this into a spiritual object lesson. I'm so afraid to ask Him for a baby anymore, because so often the answer has not been what I so desperately wanted. I've been trying to make it through all on my own, but as we've gotten into IVF I've started realizing my emotional and spiritual limitations. Now that I have been pushed beyond my illusion of control, I am beginning to press into God again. I have made this process so much harder on myself by running away from Him, and that is my own fault. So - for any sisters in Christ who may still be reading - please, please pray 1) that C and I will rely fully on God through this process, and 2) that I will have fewer needle-related issues. We had a truly awful blood-draw this week (worst of my life, and I've had some bad ones), and anytime I even see a needle anymore I get weak and dizzy. The shots have been going better since C took over, but I have to be careful to avert my eyes. And of course - most importantly - please pray that God will finally bring us our precious little miracle baby!<br /><br />I am off to get caught up on my blog reading - it will take me a while I am sure! But in the meantime, please know that I am continuing to pray for all my bloggy friends and I am so grateful for you all.Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-22896230944803860892009-08-12T07:55:00.000-07:002009-08-12T08:10:10.235-07:00Ummm...okay?***TMI Warning***<br /><br />Dr. No-Bull did my sonohysterogram and trial transfer on Monday morning. I had some slight cramping during and afterward, but it wasn't anything earth-shattering. Certainly it was nothing like what I experienced after the hsg. No spotting, very light cramping. Yesterday I felt like it never even happened.<br /><br />Today, though, I started spotting heavily. It's cd14. I'm usually not one for mid-cycle spotting; the two times I've had it before were of the blink-and-it's-over variety. Not this time...I would almost think a new cycle was starting. No cramps, just heavy spotting. Does anyone know if this is normal to experience 48 hours after these procedures, or should I put a call in to Dr. No-Bull?Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-50318050144840753272009-08-10T08:21:00.000-07:002009-08-10T09:03:27.922-07:00One Lovely Blog Award<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis2pWbJWWBdkR2MjBWv_zSdkBdcUXJBOjkeXyyxKU0A5yzDKFkZGpUPEhrWdlUjREXS6Nqp3sJmLm8uVMaaCsUE4CQwVYNl8-OoBDekhsiO7XXFgtC3B32uqmsoL2ahLRkpVOfWfEQ1HDc/s1600-h/a-lovely-blog-award.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis2pWbJWWBdkR2MjBWv_zSdkBdcUXJBOjkeXyyxKU0A5yzDKFkZGpUPEhrWdlUjREXS6Nqp3sJmLm8uVMaaCsUE4CQwVYNl8-OoBDekhsiO7XXFgtC3B32uqmsoL2ahLRkpVOfWfEQ1HDc/s320/a-lovely-blog-award.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5368355647875638418" /></a> Thank you so much to Kelli at <font color="99ccff"><a href="http://prayingforourlittlemiracle.blogspot.com/">Life, Love, and TTC Mysteries</a></font>, Courtney at <font color="99ccff"><a href="http://www.growingtheyerkesfamily.blogspot.com">The Yerkes Life</a></font>, the Mad Hatter at <font color="99ccff"><a href="http://lateforaveryimportantpregnancy.blogspot.com/">Late for a Very Important Pregnancy</a></font>, and Clare at <font color="99ccff"><a href="http://thepitter-patter.blogspot.com/">The Pitter-Patter</a></font>, who are all so sweet and thoughtful to share this award with me! It has truly made my day brighter. If you haven't read their blogs before, go stop by and say hi!<br /><br />The rules of the "One Lovely Blog Award" are: accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you’ve newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.<br /><br />Because I am so late it posting this, I think all the blogs I've discovered recently have already been tagged. (I am <strong>always</strong> late to the party!!) So, I'm going to give this award to a blogger I found a while ago, but who has been a real source of encouragement to me. If you haven't met Kim over at <font color="99ccff"><a href="http://kbhawkins00.blogspot.com/">Thoughts by Kim</a></font>, then please allow me to introduce you! She is an absolute sweetheart and I am so thankful for her friendship. <br /><br />It never ceases to amaze me how many wonderful people I've met through the online ALI community. I wish I could give every single one of you a big hug and thank you in person for all your encouragement. I could not walk this road without you, and I am so glad I don't have to go through this alone.Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-59693606521007013122009-08-10T07:28:00.000-07:002009-08-10T08:17:14.768-07:00Faster Than a Speeding Bullet...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuAW7ZzcCWjG4VZn_r3CI1KSB4Wsed2kZLZIwTdVrSWPTlB1FybbaC0kG0gabd88ZiZgvU8b5zwS0RimxxHumFqhBYTuypD5lolsZiCnUG-fuwdYQg0dqRemP4cnnUSEzq-EZS8vfj4y_9/s1600-h/rmattoso_speedometer.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuAW7ZzcCWjG4VZn_r3CI1KSB4Wsed2kZLZIwTdVrSWPTlB1FybbaC0kG0gabd88ZiZgvU8b5zwS0RimxxHumFqhBYTuypD5lolsZiCnUG-fuwdYQg0dqRemP4cnnUSEzq-EZS8vfj4y_9/s200/rmattoso_speedometer.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5368347329244701106" /></a>It's a bird...no, a plane...no, it's (GASP OF HORROR) an insane infertile on the loose! I do feel more than a little bit crazy at the moment. So much has been happening so quickly! The needle on my speedometer has passed the 200 mark and I'm redlining. I've barely been able to process it all, let alone write about it. <br /><br />The common denominator in all of our busy-ness lately has been money. As in, we've been spending a lot of it. To start with, we finally settled on a car (a 2006 Honda Accord EXL). We were strongly considering an SUV, because "what if" the IVF works and "what if" we need more space for strollers and car seats and other baby paraphernalia. I remembered reading another blogger's (I am so sorry, I can't remember who) thoughts on decision-making in light of infertility. Do you go with the "what if's" and constantly live in a place of maybe? Or do you enjoy each moment for what it is, and make decisions based on how things are right now while leaving the door open for change? We chose to do the latter. Right now - I like the Accord better. I'm more comfortable driving it, and the trunk space and backseat will be adequate if the IVF succeeds. So, we bought the Accord. (And I look darn good driving it, if I do say so myself.) <br /><br />Where IVF is concerned, I have that feeling you get at the beginning of a rollercoaster, where you're thrown back against the seat, the car is gaining speed, and you're wondering what you're in for. So far this cycle, I've had my day 3 bloodwork done, and this morning I had my sonohysterogram (where they check the uterus for fibroids, polyps or anything else that may cause a problem) and trial transfer (where they "map" the uterus so there are no surprises on the day of transfer - such as huge ovaries preventing a good ultrasound picture). The next step will be to start birth control pills when a new cycle starts. Which should, lucky me, be right around the end of our vacation. <br /><br />Ironically, I think vacation is stressing me out more than anything else. There is so much planning to do before we can leave! Not to mention, I am suffocating at work. I need to get my inbox back to a manageable level before we go; I'm already putting in an extra 10-20 hours a week. (Hence the sparse blogging.) If I can just survive the next two weeks, I'm going to plop my rear down in the sand and do absolutely nothing but watch the waves. Ahhhhhhh, beach. I cannot wait!! <br /><br />(photo credit rmattoso, <a href="http://www.sxc.hu"><font color="99ccff">stock.xchng</font></a>)Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6345317559059686010.post-26336572766405817192009-07-31T05:12:00.001-07:002009-07-31T05:27:53.582-07:00UpdateFirst of all, thank you so much for your encouragement. I love my bloggy friends!!! I didn't go to the support group meeting, which I think was a wise decision. Work has been really busy lately (I haven't even had time to blog!), and I've been feeling a little drained. In addition to the IVF stuff, we've also been car shopping and planning our vacation. Lots of decisions and busy-ness! (Apparently we're into spending money at the moment...our checkbook is taking a pretty big hit!)<br /><br />Now for the drive-by update: C and I went to a mandatory IVF meeting at our RE clinic last night. It was amazing; such a contrast to our experience at the other RE practice! Everyone at the meeting was so friendly. The lab director gave a presentation on everything from how they ensure that the right embryos are given back to the right person to the biology of the process itself. He was very clear about the downsides of IVF; they want to make sure we know exactly what we're signing up for. He also showed video of the ICSI and assisted hatching procedures - I was truly speechless. God has created us in such a wonderful way! <br /><br />I finally got my progesterone results back, too. My level was 2.4 on day 22; my RE considers 3.0 to be ovulatory. I was disappointed, but it just makes me more eager to get started with IVF. I did start a new cycle last night, and I have a call in to the IVF coordinator to get my bloodwork scheduled. My next acupuncture appointment is on Thursday. I'm hoping to get an idea of the protocol the acupuncturist uses for IVF cycles. With all the spending we've been doing, we want to make sure our budget is clearly nailed down. <br /><br />So, progress. It's good.Jenniferhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07834180918581781729noreply@blogger.com9